Money Talks: How Do You Talk Back?
Photo by Mo Riza
Editor’s Note: This is part two of a three part series on how to shape up your relationship to money. Subscribe to receive notification of the breathtaking finale in the Money Relationship Series, and give your money relationship the boot-camp counseling it needs! Click here to read the first post.
Your mind works on many levels, and the subconscious mind interprets what you say consciously to be reality. That’s why the way you talk about money can cause shifts in your relationship to money. So if you change the way you talk about the money, your subconscious goes to work making your new conversations a reality. This works both ways, sometimes we subconsciously say things about money that reflect our bad relationship to money, other times we say things without realizing the impact that they might have on our income or ability to budget.
The Scarcity Mentality
Someone with the scarcity mentality will look at money as a resource in short supply. She might think that there is only a finite amount of money to be passed around, and that if she has more money that means someone else will have less money. This kind of thinking is more prevalent in those who grew up during the depression, or who grew up in lower income families. What’s more is that this lack mentality can be passed down from generation to generation. Fortunately there’s a simple way to change your mentality, from one of a zero-sum game to one of infinite riches for all, by changing your relationship with money.
The Prosperity Mentality
The prosperity mentality means believing that there will always be enough money and resources for everyone. In reality, money is simply a way of keeping track of how many favors you’ve done, and it is only worth anything if you use it in exchange for more favors. Every person wants and needs different things, and it is possible to take care of everyone and not have a segment of the population left out from the prosperity.
With the prosperity mentality, you can look at your peers through awakened eyes, instead of being envious of their income or the car they drive. When you develop the prosperity mentality, you see opportunities to create wealth for yourself and for others, in circumstances that might look grim to those with a lack mentality. You are more open to receiving money or services without judging their source or if there are any strings attached. Developing the abundance mentality can repay you through peace of mind, a more positive outlook on life, and more money too!
Negative Money Talk
When it comes to talking about money negatively, we seem to have lots of options. We hear these scarcity sentences on an almost daily basis. If your parents used them when you were growing up, chances are that you might have adopted them into your set of expressions. In order to mend your relationship with money, you need to realize that you might actually be bad mouthing money behind its’ back.
Money Relationship Analogy: No self-respecting man would let his wife whisper sweet words into his ear, then turn around to tell everyone that he is a bad man and that anyone who talks to him must have gotten his attention by using immoral means.
Photo by Matt
“Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees”
This is one of the most common sayings that furthers the scarcity mentality. This sentence rides against the idea that trees (and nature) are very bountiful and fruitful. By emphasizing that money is not a “natural” thing, we reinforce the idea that money is finite and that there won’t be enough for everyone.
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Money Relationship Analogy: We are saying that our spouse (money) cannot have any children (grow and multiply). Imagine telling your spouse that he or she is unable to bear children, that this is just not the way things work for him or her. That’s putting a restriction on their natural fruitfulness.
“Filthy Rich”
The idea that money, or at least that a lot of money, is dirty is not a new one. In times past some religions glamorized the poor life, and demonized the rich. To make matters worse, many religious people believe that it is more noble to be poor than to have money. These pious but poor people could do more good if they had money, and used it to follow their convictions. In the mean time, those who happen to have more money are frowned upon and made to feel inferior or somehow less devout.
Money Relationship Analogy: If money were your spouse, you would not berate him at every opportunity. You would praise your spouse for all his good qualities. You might provide constructive criticism, but you would not scold him at every chance.
“I’m Not Made of Money”
Similar to the idea that money doesn’t grow on trees, this sentence tells people (and your subconscious!) that there is a lack of money. This saying also adds another layer of negativity by pushing the responsibility of making money to “something out there”. If you’re not made of money, you can certainly blame others like the government, banks, or your employer for your lack of money. On the other hand, if you were to accept that you are the source of your income, you can take responsibility for your lack (or abundance) of money. Making money becomes more fun, like a game that you can master, and less like an occurrence that is controlled by outside circumstances.
Money Relationship Analogy: Clearly, you are not made up of your spouse. However, you are what attracted your spouse to you, and what keeps his or her attention on you. How you act, how you look, and how you treat your spouse keep your relationship with him or her in good shape.
“Too Rich For My Blood”
This saying brings us back to the days of royalty and blood lines. We are stating that we are not worthy of wealth. We were not born into a specific blood line, therefore there are things in life that we cannot even hope to attain. Explained this way, it is easy to realize that these days we no longer focus on monarchies and blood lines like we used to. Yes, some people are born to inherit large sums of money. But there are tons of self made millionaires and billionaires in the world today, and there is no dramatic difference between your blood and theirs.
Money Relationship Analogy: You are saying that your spouse is too good for you. You are putting yourself down and blaming outside circumstances (in this instance, your ancestors) for your shortcomings. There is nothing wrong with you, and if you just accept yourself for who you are, chances are your spouse will love you even more.
Positive Money Talk
Photo by Daniel
If you’ve found yourself using some of the aforementioned negative money sayings, what should you do? You could stop using them. Yet what happens if someone else uses them in front of you? Wouldn’t that keep reinforcing scarcity into your subconscious? Probably. A great way to shift away from the scarcity mentality is to activate your positive money talk.
Thank God I’m Rich!
This is the perfect saying to use when you are faced with an unexpected expenditure, or if a price is higher than you anticipated. When saying this, focus on how grateful you are for what you have, and on how much inner and outer wealth you have. Do not say it sarcastically or focus on your lack of money. Say it with good cheer and know that there will always be enough money to meet your needs.
I Am At One With A Tremendous Amount of Money
When I first discovered the idea of oneness, it really struck me. Knowing that we are all one, that the Universe is just one great big ball of energy experiencing itself, really gets me going in the morning. That’s why the idea that we are at one with everything really resonates with me. When I tell myself that I am at one with a tremendous amount of money, I actually see myself with this money in my life right now. Is it any wonder that I often find I have a more money than I used to?
Money Always Multiplies
This one flies in the face of the old “Money doesn’t grow on trees” saying. Why not associate money with flowers or plants? After all, money is just a measuring unit, and there are certainly infinite possibilities for money to multiply. If you plant the seed (the idea for making money), and then water it daily (by taking action), the seed is bound to grow and you are bound to make money.
There’s Gold Dust in The Air
This saying helps you lighten up when it comes to money matters. If you are always so stressed out about money, you might attract more money troubles. But if you tell yourself that there is money everywhere - actually gold dust in the air, you will see opportunities where you didn’t think there were any. Laugh and feel like a kid playing with tinkerbell’s gold dust and see how your relationship to money transforms itself.
Photo by Syd & Rachael Tomster
Conclusions
- Eliminate Negative Money Talk
- Replace with Positive Money Talk
- Smile, you’re doing something great for yourself, your bank account, and your relationship with money!
Now that you know how you might be sabotaging your relationship with money by trash talking it, it is time to take action. Subscribe to find out when the final part of the Money Relationship Series will be posted. Then begin to change your relationship and allow more money to come into your life immediately!
Similar Posts:
- Is Your Relationship with Money on the Brink of Divorce?
- 6 Money Relationship Problems To Help Counsel Yourself Back To Wealth
- The Gardens of Billionaires
- Self-Sabotage: How To Turn Resistance Into Momentum
- Accepting The Source Of Your Income
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August 16, 2008 at 8:01 am
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