Worry Wart: I Can’t Do Anything, I’m too Busy Worrying About It
“Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.“
Worry keeps you up at night. It nibbles at you, while you go about your life, and it makes you lose focus on the big picture. You might become clumsy, say things you don’t mean, or put your shoes in the refrigerator. You might become distracted and lose the thread of a conversation.
Everyone worries, and despite our best efforts it can be an all-consuming pastime. The problem is that most of us don’t realize when we are worrying, until a worry has become deeply rooted into our mind.
Signs Of Worry
There are many signs of worry, and knowing the signs will help you discover when you are overwhelmed by worrying thoughts.
- Biting your nails.
- Inability to fall asleep. Or waking up often during the night.
- Short attention span. Absent mindedness, or making mistakes.
- Tense muscles.
- Nagging feeling at the back of your mind. You keep thinking something is not right, or maybe you did something wrong, or something bad is about to happen.
- The sense that you’re missing something.
Worrying Can Blow Things Out Of Proportion
“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” Swedish Proverb
Worrying about something is so powerful that it can give you ulcers, stress you out, and even make you lose your lunch. Yet most of the things we worry about never end up happening. That’s why worrying is a waste of brainpower. Of course, eliminating your worries is easier said than done.
People who worry a lot, tend to see the bad side of every situation, even tough most situations have a silver lining. That’s because what you focus on expands. So naturally, focusing on what can go wrong will make even more things go wrong.
What starts out as an unexpected turn of events, can cause a worrisome person to exaggerate the situation out of proportion. Seeing the downside of everything becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: what you expect to happen, most likely will.
Why Do We Worry?
- To feel productive. If you worry about something, it feels as though you are working toward finding a solution to a problem. Of course this is just an illusion, unless you take a more proactive approach, which will be explained below. Besides, productivity is simpler than that.
- To gain a sense of control over a situation. If you are overwhelmed by circumstances that you can’t control, then worrying about it might give you the feeling that you can change them. We all want to be in control of our lives, and worry is one of those ways of giving us a feeling of control. Keep in mind that this feeling is fleeting.
- To make yourself feel better about your actions. Sometimes you make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or embarrass yourself. You want others to forgive you, so you go over the situation in your mind over again (in an infinite loop!), trying to find a way to make it seem less horrific.
- To try to lessen your feeling of guilt. You feel guilty about your actions, or lack thereof. Hey, it happens! Find out how to deal with your guilt, then stop worrying about it.
- To try to figure out a course of action. We can sometimes get so focused on figuring something out, that worry blinds us to the simple solutions. Yet, we keep worrying over things, because we think we will eventually figure things out. We are trying to avoid mistakes.
- Because our brain is trying to tell us something. Worry is actually a signal that our mind is sending to get us to wake up and smell the roses. Sometimes we are just so focused on what we’re doing, we lose track of what might be happening on the sidelines. Worry is a signal for you to pay attention.
Things I Am Worried About
Although I like to think of myself as a carefree spirit, I tend to get worried over silly things every now and then. Most of the time, I don’t even realize that I’m worried, until I feel some physical manifestations of worry. Most of my worry resides in my shoulders and around the neck area.
For example, I have been worrying unconsciously about my upcoming trip China for a few months now. My worries range from not getting a visa, getting sick, or running out of money once I am there. These might all seem to be pretty reasonable things to worry about, but most of them cannot be helped in advance. So why worry about them now?
The worry does serve a purpose. It got me to look into some preventative health measures. I also did some research into the visa issue. As for money, I’m sure I’ll be fine. All of these are things that probably won’t matter to me in 10 years from now. Yet they continue to haunt me at a subconscious level.
How To Overcome Worry
Negative Thought Fast
My favorite method to overcome worry is one that I learned almost 3 years ago. It comes from Paul McKenna, and it focuses on removing useless negative thoughts. The idea is to become very conscious of your feelings and thoughts. Whenever you realize that you are having a negative thought or feeling, you simply become aware of it. Once you are aware of it, you can decide whether there is an action you can take to solve your problem, and if there isn’t then you can simply let it go.
- Step one: Become aware of your thoughts and feelings. This is something you will need to practice, because it doesn’t come very naturally to most of us. Just taking a break from whatever activity are doing at regular intervals, and sensing what your emotional state is, will give you the information you need to be more aware of your feelings and thoughts.
- Step two: Once you have identified a negative thought or feeling of worry, examine it. Decide whether it is warranted or not. If it is a legitimate worry, do something to solve the problem or fix the situation.
- Step three: Let the worry go. Whether you fixed the root cause, or found out that it is something beyond your control, it is time for you to let it go. Letting go is just as easy as focusing on something different. Think positive thoughts, start laughing randomly, or close your eyes and relax. It doesn’t take much to get rid of the worry, once you know that it’s there nagging at you.
Take Action
“Action is worry’s worst enemy.” Proverb
Sometimes all you need to eliminate worry, is to do something about it. If the negative thought fast didn’t work for you, then chances are action is your only solution. Taking action is exactly what’s going to stop your worrying, even though it can be a daunting task.
Figure out what is causing you to worry so much, and then do something about it. For example, say you were worried that starting your own business would cause you to go bankrupt or fail miserably. Instead of worrying, go in the opposite direction and figure out what you need to do to make your business as successful as it possibly can be, and do it. Remember, taking action today using an average plan, is better than taking action tomorrow on a perfect plan.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
In the words of Bobby McFerrin, don’t worry, be happy. It is easier said than done, but I believe that once you are actively monitoring your emotional state, it becomes much easier. Eliminating your worries is simply a matter of taking stock of your thoughts and feelings, and choosing a different set if they don’t make you feel good.
What are you constantly worried about? Is there anything you can do about it, right now? If not, eliminate the worry and get on with your life!
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