What If Success Meant Survival?

We all want to be successful, but sometimes what is missing is the all-or-nothing attitude that comes naturally to animals. When it comes to survival, an animal will do what it takes to get food, or defend their offspring.

While we human beings have gotten survival down pat, we haven’t quite mastered the art of success. Sure, we might be successful every now and then, but we haven’t made it an instinct yet. This begs the question, what would we be capable of if we asked the question: What if we had to succeed?

I’ve noticed myself holding back from my own steps to success in the past few weeks. I saw myself making excuses for my behavior, keeping myself small, and taking the easy road. Here are 4 of the excuses that are very common, and that I often hear myself and others use to avoid success.

1. I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment.

When it comes to setting goals, or even trying to anticipate what results we can expect, we tend to aim low. We all hate disappointment, so this reasoning may seem logical.

It’s actually just covering up the real disappointment you will experience if you don’t set big goals, and take action. Think about it this way: when you don’t have a set date for your success, or a way to measure your success, then you don’t move forward. You just kind of float in the same spot you started out in.

If on the other hand you pick a direction, you will at least swim toward your designated destination. If you don’t make it all the way, you will have at least made some progress.

In terms of money: setting a goal for how much you want to have each month is fabulous. If you don’t reach your goal 100%, you will have at least saved more than if you had just told yourself you wanted to put aside “some money”. What’s “some money” anyways?

2. I could make more money if I really wanted to.

There are tons of different ways to tell yourself and others that you don’t earn more money because of some “outside” circumstances. Here are some of them:

Oh, I could make tons of money if I wanted to.
I’m not too interested in making lots of money right now.
Money is not spiritual.
Money is something that’s not very ethical.. you know, you need to screw people over to make money.
Making money means you are taking it away from others who could use it more.

Now while all of those might seem like great reasons not to make more money, let me introduce you to another way of looking at things. You might not agree with it, and certainly some of you might find it offensive, but here goes.

Money is just a way of measuring the contribution you make to the world. If you aren’t making a lot of money, you aren’t contributing very much. Those that make lots of money are giving a lot of themselves to the world, and are being compensated for it.

Look at Oprah Winfrey, or Bill Gates, both are billionaires who have changed the world. In their own special ways, they have brought enlightenment and information to people’s fingertips. No one would doubt their contribution to the world.

Yet, how many of us keep thinking small and pushing money away, because we think it’s taking away from others? I’ve come to realize that when you increase the amount of money you make, you automatically increase the quality of your work and service, and this contribute more to make the world a better place.

Photo by Vearl Brown

3. I could do that if I tried harder.

This one is a big one for me, and I’m sure for others too! How many times have you heard excuses like…

Oh, I didn’t win that competition because I didn’t train enough.
If I had studied more, I could have easily gotten 100%!
The reason I didn’t reach my goal is that I didn’t practice enough.

Although these may sound like perfectly logical truths, they are excuses that keep you small. These reasons keep you from reaching your true potential.

These excuses relate to trying to minimize disappointments. We tell ourselves that if we don’t put all of our efforts forth, we don’t need to be worried if the outcome isn’t as good as we’d hoped.

For example, if you worked your butt off and tried your best, but you didn’t reach your goals, you might feel bad about yourself. The twisted logic goes that if you don’t work too hard, but you don’t do too well, then you still have the possibility of reaching your goal, should you decide to work for it.

Now, now only is this kind of thinking keeping you from actually getting your goals, but it’s a way of cheating yourself. How can you know where you stand if you don’t put all of your energy and passion into everything that you do?

Isn’t it much better to know that you aren’t able to run a 4 minute mile yet, so that you can increase your training. Rather than think you can reach the 4 minute mile just by doing a few more minutes warm up?

4. Why go out of my way, when I can succeed without it?

I have often noticed myself trying to achieve something without putting all the odds on my side. For example, I know that when making phone calls it helps if I rehearse, wear formal clothes, sit with good posture, and smile. Yet I would tell myself that I don’t need to do all of these things, since I can succeed without them.

These types of situations are essentially us trying to build a house without using all of the tools at our disposal. We would never try to build a house without a hammer and nails. But sometimes we think that we can make things happen in our life without using all of the little things we’ve learned along the way.

This happens because our mind is trying to protect us from failure. We often think that we are capable of great things, but the reason we didn’t achieve them yet, is that we weren’t really trying to.

The real truth is that we don’t want to achieve some of the things we set out to do.

One of my favorite examples is lingerie: a married couple can make love without using lingerie, but why not use the tools that are available to make the experience more enjoyable?

The Solution

Set Goals: Choose the goal or target that excites you and scares you. Get very specific.
Get Honest: Money isn’t something to shy away from, so stack the odds for your success.
Use Your Tools: Prepare before taking action, and use all the tools at your disposal.
All-or-nothing: If you decide to do something, go for it 100%, and don’t hold back.

Personal Note: I will be pursuing my own goals and putting myself out there in the coming week, by visiting Hong Kong, Singapore, and Macau. This means I might not be as active on the site! Thanks for your understanding, and hopefully that will give you time to pursue your own success, whatever your ambitions may be.

Comments

JohnRocheleau

I can relate to this perspective on success. Sometimes my drive to succeed is very much all-or-nothing, survival oriented. I've been on that edge quite a lot. Necessity is certainly the mother of invention as the saying goes.

Of course, the reason I have been on that edge, in part, is because I have used many of those excuses (and a few others) for not taking quicker action :)

Nathalie Lussier

It sounds like you've had a taste for this whole all-or-nothing success strategy. I guess sometimes the added time pressure can do the trick. ;)

Ross

Great tips for success! I want to back you all the way with the lingerie comment, too! Safe travels for your trip, sounds amazing.
All the best

- Ross

Nathalie Lussier

Haha, I love the lingerie example because it gets everyone's attention. ;)

Thanks!

Stacey / Create a Balance

I love what you wrote about not wanting to be disappointed. I’m getting ready to debut products and to advertise my first online retreat. I may be disappointed if people do not purchase my products and services (oh, but how I know they will), but I would be much more disappointed in myself if I never shared my gifts with the world in the first place.

Nathalie Lussier

Good luck on your new product and retreat offerings. You're absolutely right that you would be more disappointed if you didn't just go for it.

Carla

Brilliant post. "3. I could do that if I tried harder." is something I struggle with often. I love the solutions you gave. Definitely much needed advice for me!

Nathalie Lussier

Thanks Carla, I'm glad it was helpful. I know #3 creeps up for me a lot, and was especially frequent when I was in school. ;)

Peter Normandia

"Money is just a way of measuring the contribution you make to the world" .... I absolutely love this quote. That is a great way to look at things, and honestly, nothing is truer. Yes, some bad people make a lot of money, but Karma is always their in the end. In fact, to me, the key to becoming wealthy beyond your dreams is trying to figure out a way to help others. The more you can help, the more you will acquire.

Great post, once again Nathalie.

Nathalie Lussier

You got it Peter: helping others is the key. I personally like this perspective, since it takes the "bad" out of money pretty fast and makes us think of the people first. :)

Ashley @ Wide Open Wallet

Mine is... "I'll never succeed at that so why bother trying" I'm trying hard to work through it.

Nathalie Lussier

Wow that's a really good one Ashley! I am writing it down, since I know it can stop me sometimes too.

JustinSMV

I have to keep telling myself to set goals because its a great tip to use in business. These are excellent basic tips to achieve success! Thanks for sharing.

Nathalie Lussier

Absolutely my pleasure Justin, thanks for writing. :)

Very Evolved

Nathalie this post has a lot of great insights, really enjoyed it. The landscape of the human brain is a very strange one indeed. Everyday I am fascinated by the apparently odd ways it works - some of the quirks you just mentioned.

Enjoy your trip

Patrick
veryevolved.com

Nathalie Lussier

Thanks Patrick. I think the human brain, and sometimes our emotions can totally send us for a ride if we aren't aware of the ways they operate. :)

Davina

I can totally relate to this. You know what is interesting about that mind of ours is that it also attaches us to our current "failures" to prevent us from letting go and trying again.

Social Marketing Mama

I must say, this article really spoke to me. I love how you break it down, I do look at success as survival.... You must! I learned how not to try and second guess myself, I just do it...even if I'm not 100% sure....all-or-nothing attitude right!